Ups and downs

so me and claytong are on the down again, It's sooo frustrating he's to busy being confused and causious that he doesn't even take the time to open his eyes and see who i realy am. Ive changed so much over the years and he rather concentrate on who i was or saying he doesn't know who i am to actually get to know me. he doesn't know that my favorite place on earth is when i'm sitting on my surf bored in the middle of the ocean, he doesn't know that my favorite food is a kabob, he probably hasn't even taken notice that my favorite color is blue or my favorite flower is a lilly or that when i get out of the army i want to go back to school to raise the standards of my children, he doesn't know that ive given my life to god and i live a diffrent way now and my faith is a major part of my life, he doesn't know i enjoy going out to night clubs to dance and have fun with my friends there is so much more he doesn't know and that he hasn't taken the opertunity to find out. i'm here waiting not out of love but out of devotion. i havn't thought of another man and i don't believe i can because of him, he doesn't know that no matter how much my mind is saying give up my heart keeps saying hold on with all you got!