Background

Me and Clayton met in July 2007 in front of a finance hall on Fort Sam Houston during our first week of dental assistant school for the united states army. From the moment our eyes met we were the it couple. He followed me into the main hall to insure that i made it safly to my friends side. I setteled into my seat and started to focus on the lecture, when i felt a tap on my shoulder. When i turned around to see who dare interupt a LT. during the lecture i found the fool that would adventually become my husband and in his hand he held a note. We wrote back and forth threwout the whole lecture and still to this day i still have no idea what that LT was trying to teach us. Within a hour we had our whole lives planned right down to the ranch on the border of Arkansas and Missiori. Two and a half months later we got married and a month after that we got married and a month after that he was in korea.

The first three months were slow and agonising. It was so hard to wait at home for his return everytime i heared his voice there was the sound of drunken fun and the suspicion of him cheating seemed to grow with each email or call. I would hear the girls in the back ground and it made me wonder if i was patiently waiting spending what was left of my young life, my life of freedom as a nieve little girl in love with one man who was inlove with other women. Befor Clayton i had only be in love with one man, i had only been physical with four men in a time and place where it was natural to have more than 4 lovers a week. I started feeling trapped and used and betrayed by a man that i swore to love and be faithful to. I made a mistake.

After I made a that mistake i made a choice to go active duty army so i could travel to Korea to try to make it work with my husband. During the tration i made another mistake and when i got to korea i relised my husband had been making his own mistakes. I tryied to forget about what we did but guilt and betrayle made me push my husband away and we ended up getting a korean divorce. There was times when all i wanted was to turn to him and tell him how much i loved him and how much i needed him but instead i turned to another man out of my foolish pride. It took two years befor we saw eachother again and reconsiled. Then he deployed to Iraq. I know it's going to be hard for the next year. There is going to be allot of lonly night while he's gone but i know that all of those lonly nights are going to pay off when he gets home. I know it's going to be so much better when we get to live in our own house, sleep in our own bed together.

I have insecurities and i know my husband is a man which means that he doesn't want to reinsure me every second of the day, expecially since he's in Iraq away from everything that he's used to. He doesn't need to know my insecurities because it might make him have his own. I don't want that. I want us to be a happy couple and i want to be with my husband Because i love him so much and i know that if we can make it thru all we've been thru we can survive it all together.